i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
