It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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