why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
