they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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