just come out here and I will go home with you...
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
