Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
