what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Come share oat with me in your robe
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
