Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Someone signed my nipple.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
