Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
