I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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