party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
