Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My liver just broke up with me...
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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