that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
