I forgot how hot balto sounded
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I want her autograph on my taint
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
My vagina just clenched in fear
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
