This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
