He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
There's always time for handjobs
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
