walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
