Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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