Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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