Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
