I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
