if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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