it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Someone shattered a urinal.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
