that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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