4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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