am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
