god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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