Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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