cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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