I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
