doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
