I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
