Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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