I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
