Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
