found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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