I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
