He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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