No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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