I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
