just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
