I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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