What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
