honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
