soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
