I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You are the jesus of drinking
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
The adults are the big ones right?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
