is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Girls should come with a carfax report
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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