it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
