OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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