I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
