I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
